DEIDRE SAYS: People cheat for all numbers of reasons, but whether it is ever acceptable or not is a question that divides the genders.

Men are more likely than women to believe there are certain situations in which betraying your partner is acceptable, according to a BBC study on British morality. 

In general, 83 per cent of adults in the UK agreed they felt a “significant” responsibility to be faithful to their partner. 

While 80 percent of women questioned agreed it was “never” acceptable to cheat on their other half, while on 64 percent of men agreed with the statement. 

Cheating is the number one reason for divorce, and studies show that  Both men and women cite boredom, thrill seeking and revenge as some of the reasons for straying.

Just like men, women cheat for many reasons: boredom, thrill-seeking or even revenge. 

But the number one reason for cheating isn’t actually sex, it’s feeling emotionally deprived. 

Women are often unfaithful because they feel lonely or taken for granted. They want to feel desired and appreciated again.

And many women even say they cheat in order to save their relationship. 


If you’re feeling suspicious that your partner might be cheating, these are some of the signs to look for:

But remember, Just because you suspect her of infidelity, doesn’t mean it’s true. There may be an innocent explanation for any of these changes.

  • She suddenly becomes less affectionate or tactile – or more so than usual. 
  • Changes to her normal routine. If she starts coming home from work late all the time or seems keen to start going to business meetings away from home.

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  • She becomes really secretive with her phone or internet habits. Maybe she changes her passwords, hides her phone away, or starts taking calls in another room.
  • She starts putting on more makeup or perfume for no discernible reason, or dressing up sexily to meet her girlfriends.


Jealousy hurts and makes it hard to act rationally. 

While you might feel like reacting aggressively, this won’t help you or your relationship. It will just drive her away.

So take a deep breath and talk to her instead. Ask her to be honest with you. 

If she admits to cheating and you both want to get past it and make the relationship work, resolve to work together to rebuild trust. 


If you think your wife/girlfriend is cheating – or it’s been confirmed – you need support. A trusted friend or family member is always a good place to start. But if that’s tricky, the Dear Deidre team can help. 

More information is available in our Your Woman Cheating on You? and Cheating – can you get over it? support packs.

For a support pack and personalised advice, email us at [email protected] or for a prompt response, message us on Facebook. 

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