Ever wondered what to do about a lover who likes to lick feet or an ex-husband who brought a sex worker to a family party?
There's no denying intimate problems make up the bulk of my mail bag. Nothing phases me and no question is too big to tackle…
Here are some of the best sex problems of 2022.
READ MORE: 'I want three-way to get my fella back in the mood – I'm going to ask horny pal to help'
JANUARY – SEX
I’m worried that my new boyfriend has slept with so few women. He’s nearly 40 and recently confessed I’m his fourth lover. He’s okay in bed but I’m puzzled about the “missing years”.
Jane says: It’s very possible your new guy was in three long-term relationships. Are you worried he’s been in trouble and is not telling you the truth about himself and his past? You’re entitled to ask him anything you like. However, if you don’t like his answers or feel he’s holding something back, then you’ll have to decide if he is right for you.
FEBRUARY – FAKE
I feel obliged to fake my orgasms every time my guy and I have sex. If I don’t, then it’s like the Spanish inquisition in our bedroom. He demands to know what he did wrong. I have to boost his fragile ego in order to make him feel better about himself. Why must I lie?
Jane says: Talk to your man away from the bedroom. Make it clear that you’re not a robot and you refuse to lie or fake it anymore. The fact is very few people orgasm every single time. It’s not your job to prop him up. Is this a good fit?
MARCH – TASTE
There are certain sex acts I really don’t enjoy. Anything oral makes me feel physically sick. Unfortunately, my boyfriend makes me feel bad for “short changing” him. What more can I say?
Jane says: Sadly, if this guy can’t respect your opinions and personal choices, then he’s not right for you. None of us should ever feel obliged to do anything we don’t like. Talk to him away from the bedroom about boundaries, pressure, and preferences. Unfortunately, if he’s not mature enough to listen and understand then you need to walk.
'My perv boss rings me at 9pm for phone sex – his wife thinks he's working'
APRIL – SMELLS
It’s all about smells with my boyfriend. When I return from a run, he can’t keep his hands off me. He loves me all hot and sweaty. I’m not allowed to use bleach or chemical sprays around the house, or he feels physically sick. Is this all a bit odd? My friends think it is.
Jane says: Why are your friends so interested in your private life? Your relationship is unique. If he has a particularly sensitive nose; if he craves certain smells but can’t tolerate others, then is that a problem for you? You must weigh up if what you have makes you happy.
MAY – GIRLS
The girl I’m infatuated with has frequently told me she’s only into girls. But I know she slept with a (male) mate of mine only a few weeks ago. Now I’m keeping my fingers crossed she’s bisexual and I’m in with a shout after all. How do I ensure that I’m first in line the next time she fancies a man’s love?
Jane says: This person is clearly attempting to let you down gently. Set yourself free by accepting that she’s not for you. You cannot view her as a goal or a challenge. Move on and wean yourself off her.
'I'm bonking my boss – jealous work colleagues call me a "filthy tart" for it'
JUNE – FOOT
My new boyfriend has a foot fetish. He loves to lick, suck, and kiss my tootsies. He says they’re my best feature. I’m quite ticklish and don’t know how I feel about this. Out of the bedroom he’s generous and thoughtful. Is this kinky compulsion a small price to pay for being treated like a princess?
Jane says: Some people cannot stand having their feet touched. You have to be true to what feels right for you. Does having your feet caressed feel good? Do you enjoy or endure this practice? Do you feel like an object?
JULY – BIG
I’m a big girl. I love sex and I’m very energetic, only the last couple of guys I dated weren’t very kind about my size. I’m very proud of my large bust and curves, but one moron laughed as I stripped and the other called me a freak. How do I stop this from crushing my confidence?
Jane says: Put those bad encounters down to experience and remember you are unique and special, and anyone would be lucky to have you. Make sure you really get to know the guys you date and only ever have sex once you’re absolutely convinced that the guy is genuine, sincere and loves you for who you are.
AUGUST – WORKER
My mum has moved into a care home. Recently, my sister and I were sorting out her stuff when we came across two locked suitcases. Inside we found old-fashioned sex toys, rude photographs, and dirty letters from different men. Mum has always been uptight and disapproving. Was she a secret sex worker?
Jane says: Your mother is a human being and if she endured a complicated existence as a younger woman, then that’s her business. Maybe she had a tough time and protected you and your sister by being ultra conservative in later life. Don’t judge her and don’t embarrass her by raking up old bones.
SEPTEMBER – CREEP
How do I protect a friend who is dating a creep? Her cheesy new boyfriend seduced her with the line: “I’m cute, you’re cute, let’s shower.” Now she’s loved-up and being ridiculous. I am seriously concerned for her credibility.
Jane says: How is her credibility your concern? As long as the woman is happy and safe, then she can do what she likes. Step back and accept that she doesn’t wish to be controlled or judged. Try and be happy for her. Do I sense a tiny hint of jealousy on your part?
OCTOBER – PEACH
A colleague keeps sending me aubergine and peach emojis at the end of his work messages.
I’ve also received hotdogs and a pair of melons. On the surface he seems a decent, innocent bloke. Do you think he realises what he’s doing?
Jane says: I suspect this individual knows precisely what he’s doing. If he’s attempting to flatter, seduce or even intimidate you, then he needs to be told to decease. If you don’t wish to challenge him directly, then you should speak to your boss or HR. I don’t buy his innocent act.
'My wife keeps fantasising about mate Jumbo's massive penis – while we have sex'
NOVEMBER – ESCORT
My ex-husband bought an escort to my parents’ anniversary party. She got sloshed and told everyone in the ladies’ toilet that she was being paid by the hour. I’m disgusted. I warned my parents that inviting him would be a big mistake.
Jane says: Your former husband can do anything he likes now that he’s a single man again. Maybe you, and your parents, need to accept that he’s no longer in your lives on a daily basis and move on. Vow to keep things civil – especially if you have children together – but do not allow him to get under your skin.
DECEMBER – INTEREST
Is it odd I only fancy older, sassier women? Girls my age (22) leave me cold. My last two “girlfriends” were over 50. My friends call me everything from a weirdo to a gold digger. But older, sexually experienced women are a treat to be around. I can guarantee I have the best sex of anyone in my group.
Jane says: As long as you’re not hurting your lovers or ripping anyone off, you’re free to date anyone. Tell your mates to mind their own business. You’re young and the world is at your feet. Maybe you’ll fancy a younger partner and even children down the line…
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