DEAR DEIDRE: I’M scared to have sex with my boyfriend in case he causes another tear.

He’s so large that the first time we had sex, he caused a mild perineal tear that took six weeks to heal.

Having a big boyfriend means that penetration is always painful.

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He’s 26, I’m 25 and we’ve only slept together twice in the nine months we’ve been in a relationship.

Every time he’s tried to be intimate since, I’ve either turned him down or given him oral sex instead.

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He’s been patient, but I know he’s getting bored of the same old routine.

DEIDRE SAYS: It may not be your boyfriend’s size that is the problem.

A woman’s vagina is designed to allow a baby to pass through, so is very stretchy and elastic.

That first time you may not have been properly aroused. Good lubrication is vital to avoid painful sex.

Focus on foreplay – see what gets you in the mood, and whether you need additional lubrication. This will help you build up your confidence again.

My support pack Too Large? also has lots of tips.

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