My fiancée and I are avoiding sex until our wedding – but we can't stop arguing

DEAR DEIDRE: MY fiancée and I decided to stop having sex three months before our wedding day so that our wedding night would be really special.

But the sexual frustration is causing us to argue constantly.


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I’m 34 and my wife-to-be is 29.

We met online during the pandemic, and have had a whirlwind romance.

Within six months we’d moved in together and within another three we were engaged.

Our wedding is on July 1.

A few months ago, one of my partner’s friends suggested that we stop having sex a few weeks before the wedding so that our first night as a married couple is one to remember.

So we decided to go celibate for three months – no sex and no masturbation.

We knew it would be a challenge as we usually have sex three or four times a week but we thought it would be worth it.

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However, a month in, we’re both so sexually frustrated that we’re arguing all the time.

Any advice?

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DEIDRE SAYS: I understand you both want to make your wedding night memorable but if you carry on this way, there may not even be a wedding.

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Neither of you are virgins, so it’s predictable a sex ban would leave you both feeling frustrated.

Consider a shorter period of one or two weeks of celibacy if you’re both wedded to the idea.

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