DEAR DEIDRE: I AM really into the fetish of findom – being financially dominated by girls online by sending them gifts and money. I’m hooked on it and porn too.
But because I spend a lot of time interacting with these women, I don’t have the energy or desire for sex with my girlfriend.
I am 25 and my girlfriend is 24. We have a pretty good, adventurous sex life when I am not subscribed to an account.
But the adrenalin rush of signing up and sending money so these online girls can buy lingerie is addictive.
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I love the feeling of being used or humiliated. I’m well aware it’s a waste of money and these girls are just performing a service.
Each time I subscribe I end up sending hundreds, before coming to my senses and deleting my account.
DEIDRE SAYS: If you carry on in this way you could lose all you have got and end up in a very dark place.
This fetish is a kind of escapism, the adrenalin rush it gives you is a means of blotting out difficult feelings and pain.
The causes will probably lie in your past and it’s clear you need help to rewind.
My support pack Fetish Worries explains more about this and gives sources of help.
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