DEAR DEIDRE: I’M worried I’m going to lose my husband – he’s been like a stranger since his mother died.

I’m 39 and he’s 43. We’ve been together for 12 years.

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He’s always been a real mummy’s boy. She was a single parent and he was her only child. They idolised each other.

We lived a couple of doors down from his mum, who was 67.

He’d pop in and see her most days and we took her on holidays.

A couple of months ago she died from a heart attack. It was a real shock.

At first, I thought my husband took the news well. But since the funeral, he is completely withdrawn.

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He’s so distant nowadays. He never wants to talk or go out anywhere. I feel him pulling away from me.

I’m worried this could break us. I don’t know how to get through to him.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Your husband’s experience of grief is not uncommon.

Often the reality of what someone has lost is only realised after the funeral when everything quietens down and there are fewer distractions.

Encourage your husband to have counselling which can help him live with his loss.


I’m worried my mum and dad’s messy divorce will ruin my graduation

Jimmy goes on a date after feeling inferior to Lucy

Contact the charity Sue Ryder (, 0808 164 4572) which offers up to six weeks of free bereavement counselling.

My support pack on Coping With Bereavement will also help you support your husband through this difficult time.

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