DEAR DEIDRE: UNLESS I have sex with him, my husband says we are divorcing.

But the truth is, I just don’t want it these days.

I’m 56, he is 59.

He’s obsessed with sex and it is all he talks about. But the menopause has really sapped my libido.

My husband often makes me get my diary out to tell him when I will be available for lovemaking.

If I then change my mind, he gets all upset and hurt.

I do keep myself fit by walking the dogs but my husband never comes with me.

Now he thinks I’m having an affair, but it’s utter nonsense.

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I’ve told him a few of my friends no longer have sex but he thinks everyone our age is at it.

I still love him but it just isn’t something I’m interested in any more.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You should not be forced to do anything sexually that you don’t want to.

But if your libido is suffering, you may be able to get HRT to bring it back.

Talk to your GP. You are both still young enough to enjoy sex.

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Tell your husband his ultimatum is upsetting and you need to find a compromise.

A sensual massage may help him to enjoy some intimacy without the need for intercourse.

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