DEAR DEIDRE: MY need for casual sex has got me into big trouble three times now.
I’m 26 and have one-night stands with women I meet on dating apps and social media.
Within the space of a few weeks, three women have said they’re pregnant with my baby.
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I’ve been sleeping around ever since I lost my virginity at 15.
I get such a high from sex with someone new that after the first time, I don’t want to go there again. I want someone new.
Apps and social media make it so easy to meet girls and they all seem up for casual sex.
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I’ve lost count of how many women I’ve slept with. It’s 1,000 at least. I’ve never lied about only wanting sex and treat them well when I’m with them.
I usually remember to use protection. But sometimes I’m too drunk or get carried away in the moment.
Lots of girls say they’re on the Pill. I’m clean and healthy and I’ve never caught anything.
But now it seems my luck has run out. I’ve spoken to each of the girls and offered to pay for abortions but all three want to keep their babies.
I barely remember these women and if it weren’t for Instagram, I wouldn’t know their names or what they look like.
One baby is due in two months’ time while the others have only just found out they’re expecting. Part of me is proud that I’m not firing blanks.
But I’m not ready to be a dad — and certainly not a dad of three. What can I do?
DEIDRE SAYS: You have been taking risks for years and, as the saying goes, now your chickens have come home to roost.
You might not be ready to be a father but I am afraid that if the babies are yours, you will be legally obliged to pay for them – even if you don’t want a relationship with them or their mothers.
As everyone involved has been having lots of casual sex, it would be wise to ask these women if they will take a DNA test to make sure you are the dad. However, this can only be done once the babies are born.
You have put your own health and the health of your partners at risk. Please visit a sexual health clinic and ask for STI and HIV tests.
Meanwhile, my support pack on contraception will be useful for the future.
It sounds like you could have an addiction to sex. Perhaps there is something lacking in your life to make you crave this intimacy.
I wonder why you have an instant need for a new lover once you have slept with someone. It might be you are afraid of rejection.
My support pack on Sex Addiction will tell you more about this and outlines the sources of support available.
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