My wife lied about being a virgin and I found out on our wedding day

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife lied about being a virgin – and as hard as I’ve tried to move past it, I’m not sure I can.

I was brought up Catholic and was told to wait until I was married to be intimate.

When I met my wife at university, she told me she’d never been with anyone.

But I discovered at our wedding that wasn’t the case.

Just before we left, one of her drunk bridesmaids joked: “Let’s hope you’re a better lay than the last.”

I didn’t pay attention at the time – the woman could barely stand.

But once we made it upstairs, her words sunk in and I realised I wasn’t my wife’s first.

It’s been three years since we tied the knot and I still struggle to look her in the eye.

We’re both 27.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife was probably worried she would lose you if she told you the truth – and it seems she was right.

Mistakes in judgment happen.

You have to decide if you can get past this.

Living as you are now is not making either of you happy.

Contact, which can help you organise some couples’ counselling.

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