‘I was a monster’: Man who was ‘addicted to dominance’ and served jail time for assaulting his partner insists he has ‘changed’ in new ITV documentary Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence
- Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence will air on ITV tonight
- Made by Bafta and Emmy award-winning filmmaker and activist Deeyah Khan
- Documentary investigates America’s endemic domestic violence problem
- Features male perpetrators of violence to gain insight into their behaviour
A man who served jail time for assaulting his partner has insisted he has ‘changed’ – while she defended him and said he is ‘not a monster’ – as they appeared in a new ITV documentary.
Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence, by Bafta and Emmy award-winning filmmaker Deeyah Khan, delves into America’s domestic violence problem which has reached endemic levels as one in four women fall victim to domestic violence and abuse in the USA.
The documentary, which is on air tonight at 10.45pm, features men taking part in The Family Peace Initiative in Kansas, a battering intervention programme to re-educate abusers, which granted cameras exclusive access for the first time.
Couple Lori and Marshel appear in the show, with Marshel describing how he was ‘addicted’ to dominance.
In a clip released ahead of the show, Lori said: ‘The DA [District Attorney] even predicted that…”He’s going to come out of prison, he’s going to kill you”.
‘And I thought, we’re going to prove him wrong. And so far we have, thank God.’
Marshel, who is shown in Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence alongside his partner Lori, spent an undisclosed amount of time in prison, but reunited with Lori, with the couple now suggesting they enjoy a non-violent relationship
Marshel (left) embraced his wife Lori (right), against whom he was violent in the past, during a battering prevention meeting at the Family Peace Initiative
Among the men who speak during the documentary was Daniel, who served some 30 years in prison for the murder of his wife.
He explained: ‘This is the first time in my life I ever stopped to look at myself for a long time and it was like, damn!
‘I took a woman’s life. And that’s the hardest thing to live with is that I killed a woman.’
Also featured in the documentary are couple Lori and Marshel, a couple who open up about Marshel’s violence.
The documentary marks the first time cameras were allowed to film a meeting of domestic violence abusers at the Family Peace Initiative
Lori said: ‘It’s despicable to kick someone who’s weaker than you. It is the epitome of weakness in my mind, not strength.
‘Women need to have hope, and men need to understand they’re not broken forever, and they’re not all monsters.’
Speaking about why he believes he was violent in the past, Marshel discussed being abandoned by his mother, and his subsequent behaviour.
Describing himself as ‘a monster’, he says: ‘I was a kid. My mom and dad split up. She just left. I woke up the next morning, and mom was gone.
Daniel, who served 30 years in prison for the murder of his wife, is one of the male perpetrators of violence who appears in the documentary
‘I just felt like I wasn’t good enough for a woman. So I would make myself be good enough by making her have to do what I was wanting her to do.’
He admitted that among the violence he’s carried out, he would ‘choke her…push her down…hold her down’, saying he was ‘addicted to that dominance’.
As well as highlighting the stories of male perpetrators of violence, filmmaker Deeyah Khan also hears testimonies of survivors and victims’ families, as well as the social workers and psychologists who work with violent men.
Among them were Malcolm and Mary, whose daughter Lauren, was killed by her ex-boyfriend Nate Fujita, in Massachusetts.
Director Deeyah Khan (pictured) set out to investigate the endemic levels of male violence in the US in her documentary
During his trial, Fujita refused to talk, but the prosecution alleged he’d murdered Lauren out of rage and jealousy.
Lauren’s mother Mary, said: ‘She became very aware of his trying to control her and he was not going to let her break up with him. He would find some way to be with her.
‘And then once she really said it was over, I let my guard down. I was so relieved, but I hadn’t realised his anger was so great about this rejection.
‘In the two months that she had this time where she started dating other people, his anger just built and built and built.’
The documentary also features a meeting at Synergy, a domestic violence refuge in Missouri (pictured)
According to Dorothy Halley, who co-runs The Family Peace Initiative, she wanted to understand ‘what makes [abusive men] tick’ in an effort to reduce the violence (pictured: a meeting of domestic violence abusers at the Family Peace Initiative in Topeka)
According to Dorothy Halley, who co-runs The Family Peace Initiative, she realised that understanding why men abuse their partners could help change their behaviour.
She said: ‘Get this woman and these kids away from the monster. That’s how I saw those who batter. And then Tina walked into my office. Tina was the seventh victim of the same offender in a five-year time frame.
‘When Tina walked into my office, I realised, seven victims in five years, I don’t want to be working with his 20th victim.
‘What are we going to do with those who batter, to get them to stop? What makes them tick? Why are they doing this?’
Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence airs on October 17 at 10.45pm on ITV.
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