Why we’re putting off having children: We have sex four times a week and lie-ins every weekend – why ruin things?
- Taylor and Justin Vasu, California, are childfree by choice and love their life
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A childfree couple has revealed why they are not interested in having children – revealing that their status as non-parents means they have sex four times a week, go on 12 holidays a year and enjoy lie-ins every weekend .
According to Taylor Vasu, 28, and her husband, Justin, 27, from Orange County, California, they don’t want to end up ‘miserable by having kids’.
The couple are intentionally childfree and label themselves as DINKS – which stands for dual income no kids.
Taylor and Justin, who have been together for six years, spend their free-time travelling, going for spontaneous lunch dates, working out together and sleeping in on the weekends.
They book time off work at a ‘weeks notice’ and say they have ‘wild sex’ four times a week.
The couple (pictured) say that not having children allows them to enjoy their free time, and they take 12 holidays a year
Taylor believes it would be ‘irresponsible’ for her and Justin, an IT sales executive, to have children currently as they are ‘expensive’, and they want to wait until they are ‘financially prepared’.
Rather than putting money aside for any future children the pair are saving to buy a house.
Taylor is ‘terrified’ about the strain having a child can place on a marriage – and says she doesn’t want to end up like other people she knows with children who are ‘often miserable’.
Taylor, an interior designer, said: ‘Most people say when you have kids – your life will be over.
‘It makes us not want to have any. People sometimes guilt trip me by saying my maternal clock is ticking.
‘I tell them – ‘You’re just mad at the consequences of your own actions, I don’t want to be miserable like you.’
‘We can do whatever we want, whenever we want, and I don’t want to give that up.’
The married couple met in college in July 2017 and got married in Hawaii in June 2022 and are not thinking of having children anytime soon.
According to Taylor (pictured with Justin) people have told her than once you have children, ‘your life is over’
Now the couple (pictured) say they want to save up and ensure they are financially ready before they have a family
Taylor says the pandemic is a major reason for their decision to hold off on having kids.
She said: ‘We lost two years of our lives to Covid. We both love to travel – it’s always been the foundation of our relationship.
‘Now the world is functioning again, we want to visit all the places we missed out on.’
This year they plan to visit Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Texas, New York and even Italy and Taylor feels having children would be an encumbrance to their travelling plans.
The world couple have major travel plans and want to visit Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Texas, New York and Italy this year – which would be difficult to do with a family
She said: ‘We have friends with young children and we see how much it halts their lives.
‘You rarely see a couple with a newborn travelling to Tahiti. Children are so reliant on you.’
Taylor and Justin enjoy their spontaneous lifestyle and are ‘unwilling’ to give it up for the sake of having children.
They enjoy working out together on the beach, grabbing drinks at lunch time, playing golf after work and seeing friends on the weekends.
Taylor said: ‘Our schedule is really ours to make. We love a spontaneous plan, and when you have kids, that’s not possible.’
Taylor also believes being child-free helps to keep the spark alive in the bedroom.
Globetrotters: the couple say they want to complete their travel plans before they start a family and lose the freedom to globe trot as much
She said: ‘You’re not as tired, so you can have wild sex nights during the week if you want.
‘You work out together in the morning, so the foreplay starts as soon as you wake up.
‘By the end of the night you want to jump your partners bones. When you have children, you have no time for that.’
Taylor is ‘terrified’ about the impact a child could have on her marriage and wants to be financially stable before contemplating having children.
She said: ‘Your life becomes all about your child, and you forget about yourself and your marriage.
As well as prioritising travel, Taylor notes that many people lose their identity and lose sight of their marriage when they start having children
‘Maintaining your independence in a relationship is really important, but that becomes really difficult with children because they are so reliant on you.
‘It’s hard to hold onto your identity.
‘Having a child is expensive. I want to buy a house and have a good solid 10-15k before I think about having a kid.
‘We want to wait until we’re financially prepared to have children, to get the bulk of the travelling done, and to give our children the best life possible.
‘I want to be the person whose life doesn’t come to a screeching halt when they have children.
The couple says that right now, they want to enjoy their relationship together, and then think about children in the future when the time is right
‘I’m terrified of being a bad parent, so I’d rather take care of myself first.
‘When you have children, your weekends are over, date nights – forget about it – and intimacy goes down the toilet.
‘Financially and mentally we’re not ready. I still want to spend time and have fun with my husband.
‘Right now we’re really enjoying being young and in love, and we don’t feel any need to have kids any time soon.’
Justin said: ‘I’m very much on the same page. I do want kids eventually, but right now, I just want to enjoy my time with Taylor and enjoy our relationship.’
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