DEAR DEIDRE: FOR the past six months I've been seeing a guy from work.

We’ve hooked up a few times, although I knew from the start he has a girlfriend. I had hoped he would leave her.

But the more I’ve got to know him, the more I’ve realised they are actually very happy together.

He talks quite openly about his amazing girl in front of me at work, which hurts.

No one at work knows about us but I feel such a fool.

I’m a 25-year-old woman and he is 28. I’m confused, as I really like this guy.

But I’m starting to think he’s just using me.

I thought we got on really well but this could just be about sex for him.

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Send an email to [email protected]

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DEIDRE SAYS: You will not know what he thinks about the prospect of a relationship with you until you have a chat with him.

If he does see a future with you, he will manage to find a way of finishing with his girlfriend.

And if that is what he is planning, he ought to do it sooner rather than later – which risks hurting her even more.

Give him a time limit to make his choice. If you don’t, you run the risk of becoming “the other woman” long-term.

Explain that if he wants a relationship with you, that means being honest and open and not sneaking around behind his girl-friend’s back for sex.

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