DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER setting up two interview-like meetings with a girl they want me to marry, my family are now pressuring me to make a decision. But I am just not interested.

I am a 29-year-old Asian guy. The girl’s uncle has known my father for many years and they think we would be a good match.

My religion is against forced marriage but parents sometimes arrange what they think would be a suitable match.

I keep telling my parents how I feel but they are not happy with me. I have nothing against the girl but I am not attracted to her in the least. She is 26.

They want us to meet up again. I can understand my family’s reasons, especially as they know the girl’s family, but I feel that agreeing will only give them false hope.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Part of becoming an adult means you can make choices that are contrary to what parents want. Their happiness is not more important than yours.

Be honest with them that this won’t end in marriage.

You can find support through the Asian Family Counselling Service (, 020 8571 3933).

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